Skip to main content

Through our crisis line, we are here to help you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Follow the simple steps to be put through to your local Refuge. You will be automatically directed to an Advocate in your region.

Click the below image to live chat with an advocate now

Click here to contact your local refuge

Family violence is a pattern of power, control and coercion. Abuse is not just physical, trust your intuition.

If something does not feel right to you, then it’s not OK.

If you are being abused, remember it’s not your fault. No one deserves to be abused, and we are always here to help you. At Women’s Refuge, we won’t judge you. We will listen to you and support you to make choices for your safety.

  • It can be physical, sexual, psychological, or economic.
  • It usually, but not always, happens in the home (not in a public place), therefore it is hidden.
  • The coercion, control, and other abuse tactics are often subtle and difficult for victims to explain to others.
  • These tactics adversely impact every aspect of victims’ (and their children’s) lives, including their health, their dignity, and their opportunities to build safe, viable, and fulfilling lives.
  • The majority of perpetrators are men, and the majority of victims are women and gender minorities.
  • Disabled women, rainbow/takatāpui (especially people who are bisexual and transgender) wāhine Māori, and young women are the most likely to be subjected to family violence.
  • Psychological or Emotional Abuse
    Threatening to harm you or the children, damaging belongings, stalking, isolating from friends and whānau, actions or threats, hurting animals or pets, constant put downs and belittling, exposing children to trauma.
  • Economic Abuse
    Withholding money, monitoring the finances, making all the financial decisions, demanding proof of all expenditure and checking receipts, alloting a allowance.
  • Sexual Abuse
    Forced to have sex, feeling sexually harassed, being made to engage in degrading or unsafe sexual behavior, being made to watch pornographic material.
  • Physical Abuse
    Slapping, beating, punching, kicking, strangling, shaking, biting or pinching. It may involve the use of weapons and can cause serious long term injury or fatality.
  • Spiritual Abuse
    Feeling as though your spirit/wairua is being attacked, stops you from expressing your spiritual or religious beliefs, stops you going to church/ temple, puts down your beliefs, uses their/your religious beliefs to justify their behaviour.
  • 24 Hour crises line, 0800 REFUGE
  • Home and community visits
  • Support in isolated regions
  • 24/7 access to our safe houses
  • Advocacy when dealing with police, legal, court, WINZ, housing, doctors, schools and Oranga Tamariki
  • Referrals to counsellors, doctors, lawyers and other support services
  • Education and support groups for women and children about living free from violence
  • “I’m worried because he seems to make you feel bad a lot the time. How safe do you feel with him?”
  • “I’m wondering if you have any concerns about how he’s behaving towards you?”
  • “If anything is happening at home and you don’t feel safe, I’m always up for a chat about it.”
  • “It’s okay to talk about it here, you can tell me as much or as little as you want.”
  • “I’m really glad you told me.”
  • “This was not your fault.”
  • “That sounds really tough.”
  • “You’ve been dealing with a lot.”
  • “Are you safe right now?”
  • “Would you like me to call the police?”
  • “Would you like to tell me some more about that?”
  • “How are you coping with that?”
  • “What’s the safest way to get in touch with you?”
  • “How can I help you? Is there any practical things I can help with.”
  • “Would you like me to sit with you while you call Refuge?”